The Professional’s Guide to Negotiating a Job Offer

Zee: Consider your long-term goals, consider the actual work you'll be doing, and the people you've met in the office. How do all these things strike you? Consider what's important in your life, and how this job/business will further your personal as well as professional choices. Take your time. Trust your gut. Where are you in your own professional journey? Someone right out of college, for example, will have different issues and decisions than a parent re-entering the work world, or someone who is only a few years away from retirement. Sometimes the best thing is to be old fashioned, get out a pen and paper and write out a pro/con list. This is a great time to talk with a mentor, or adviser, who is older than you, so you can get her wisdom. Where, for example, does your mentor see this job taking you? Knowing what she knows of your goals, does this opportunity make sense?

Smith: First and foremost, you should weigh offers based on the merits of the job and the growth opportunities for your career. An extra $5K in salary compensation is useless if you take the wrong job — take the job that maximizes your career impact and consider the people and culture of the company and whether it's a place where you'll be supported and can grow.

Zee: People panic and lowball themselves, since they're afraid to press for what they really want. Then, unfortunately, they start the job, and are making less money, or having less vacation time, or less chances to do the aspects of the job they really enjoy, and within six months, they've quit. I've worked with a handful of men and women who came to me after scenarios like that, and we had to start the entire job search all over again.

Smith: A mistake people sometimes make is that they don't place enough value on the intangibles that aren't cash compensation or equity, such as career growth opportunities and perks. The other mistake people make is not being gracious. It's perfectly acceptable to ask for more money and other things, but you need to be gracious, polite, thoughtful — otherwise you could “poison the well,” so to speak. These are going to be your colleagues, so you need to start in a good place. Just be careful of the tone and energy you use — you can be firm and kind at same time.

Zee: Yes. I've seen it happen. If you're disorganized or unrealistic, or if you start giving your employer cause to doubt your judgment, yes, that is lethal to a job opportunity. And an employer will more than likely have language inserted into the offer that gives them the right of refusal.

Smith: Yes, they can rescind the offer, but it's unlikely.

Stephens: You can say "I graciously accept your generous offer and am excited to join your team!" You might also ask to be connected with a peer (someone already in your position) and/or a mentor (possibly a peer, but probably someone senior to you), so that you can learn more about your job as quickly as possible.

Manciagli: A nice email letter to the hiring manager and recruiter sharing how excited you are to accept their offer. Compliment the members of the recruiting and hiring team on how great they were (even if they moved as slow as molasses in your mind).

Stephens: You can say "I am very grateful for your interest in me and for the offer, but am afraid I must decline at this time." You don't owe anyone explanations, but you can say that you have accepted an offer elsewhere (they may ask) that you think is a better fit. If this is a company you'd like to stay connected to or eventually move to in the future, then you should insist that you are thrilled to have been offer the job and are very disappointed at having to turn them down.

Manciagli: Be very grateful and honored that they extended an offer, and say “However, at this time, I will be pursuing other opportunities.” They don't need to know why or with who or if you simply decided to keep looking. Naturally, they may ask you what the reason is. You can choose to share or not. Simply say “I did a side-by-side analysis of my offers and the market opportunities and determined that other opportunities are better suited.” You should never say “The commute is too far” or “I really didn't want to work in this city, industry or job.” They will wonder why you interviewed and took them all the way to an offer.

Stephens: Think about the big picture, that is why you are interested in this field/industry and how it fits into the rest of your life. What needs will this job be meeting and how does it meet short- and long-term goals? Also, how will this job, and the process of negotiating for it, help you build relationships that will carry forward into the rest of your career?

Manciagli: If you are considering multiple positions, it is virtually impossible to align the timing perfectly, so you can compare two or three offers. Don't play one company off the other at the offer stage. It is bad form to say “XYZ Company offered me this … will you match?” It is a much stronger position to base your request on market data, cost of living, etc. If you do choose to play one off the other, please accept the offer immediately if the company matches. Also, be extremely gracious, appreciative and understanding. Build relationships with your negotiations versus breaking them down. You just built a number of strategic supporters of yours so watch every move you make.